Good movie preview, part 1

On a scale of 1 to 10, Nicholas Cage is a wild-eyed, ranting, foaming-at-every-orifice 10. People who disagree with this have usually not seen Raising Arizona, Adaptation, Wild at Heart or any of his “good ‘uns,” and in addition have not been introduced to a setting conducive to watching Con Air or The Rock, or any of his “bad’uns,” which aren’t good movies but are great movies. Nicholas Cage is the most self-aware actor working in Hollywood today. He takes on 5 movies a year, no problem, and he’d rather be working than waiting around for the right project. Hence shit like Snake Eyes. And the guy likes to have a good time. Hence National Treasure. He’s also funny and sad and silly and brilliant.

On a scale of 1 to 10 I rate Werner Herzog around 5,000.  He is inhuman. I watch his films compulsively. He is my go-to answer to “If you could have lunch with anyone, living or dead….” Lunch with this guy would be like landing on the moon and finding out there’s a world-class novelist there who collects pistols and has taught himself to speak backwards. He deserves the Nobel Prize for Uncompromising Artist Who Is By All Definitions 100% Grade A Insane.

So it goes without saying that I’ll be first in line for Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, which must have been imagined and financed by a secret Hollywood-controlling Cabal of Lunatics. How else could this possibly exist? The art world’s craziest director and Hollywood’s craziest actor? The only way they could amp up the crazy on this film is if  zombie William S. Burroughs emerges as an uncredited screenwriter, or Iggy Pop does the entire soundtrack on noseflute.

Dear god let this be released in the U.S. in 2009. They could charge $200 and a swift kick to the groin, and it wouldn’t keep me out. Also, please let cage be Herzog’s new Kinsky for the 21st century. He’s been in need of a good foil for a while now.